WHAT NIGERIAN WOMEN HEAR:
Don’t be successful, you won’t get a husband, wait till you are married.
Don’t buy a car/house, men will run away from you.
Get a simple job, so you have time to cook for your husband.
Don’t go back to school, no one will want to be with a Know-Too-Much.
WHAT YOU DON’T HEAR:
Be successful, so you can give your kids a great life.
Buy a car, so you can also help pick up your neighbour’s kids
Get a simple job, so you can have time for your kids.
Get all the education you can afford, educated mums do better with kids’ homework.
Everyone is talking about getting and catering for a man, another grown-up with goals, living his own life, everything about your single life is wrapped in this unclear vision of a man who may come to rescue you from drowning in the pool of singlehood.
Live your life and let what will be be. What kind of insecure men are these people talking about anyway?…who says you can’t have the best of both worlds, who separated these worlds? Who says successful women don’t make submissive wives? who built these stereotypes? Who says you should lead your life subject to the approval of men? Who says love won’t happen when it will? Who says a comfortable woman is not happier than a broke girl waiting for a husband…
Honey, keep your options open… Love will definitely happen, marry a supportive partner, not an ‘oga’*. It can work.
oga* = boss/man to whom reverence and fear is due.